Drinking in the Slums of Japan

Drinking in the Slums of Japan

Greetings friends and welcome to Kyoashi, Japan. Osaka’s most charming little [ __ ] hole. You’re not going to find any white people here, but what you will find is cold drinks, friendly locals, and extremely grimy little back alley. So, let’s go exploring. Kill machine. Getting in the front of the train today. Got the green car seat, the luxury business class seat. Guys, it looks like they still have the the snack cart here operating in the green car. They discontinued it on the regular Shinkansen car, but uh I guess that’s just for the nasty pores back there. This is amazing. That’s worth it alone for price of admission to get snacks and cold beer poured right out of your seat. Oh yeah. And uh green car. Oh wow. Luxury lucky boy. Okay. Oh, incredible. A 7% cocktail at Well, you don’t know what time it is. It could be any time in the day. It’s definitely not 10:45 in the morning. Hell yeah. You know, I usually wouldn’t drink this early in the morning, but godam it, I can. We’re in the green car, baby. We’re on vacation. All right. And the next time you’re on vacation, make sure to check out SY. It’s a more reliable, cheaper option to most eims out there. Did I mention it’s available in over 200 countries, including the great nation of Japan. If you’ve been in a coma for the last 5 years, eims are virtual SIM cards that allow you to travel the world hassle-free, and stay connected, avoid fees, and not have to rely on Wi-Fi everywhere you go. Okay, buddy. It’s going to be all right. They’re going to find a cure. Nurse pull the plug. This guy doesn’t even know that eims help you avoid expensive roaming charges for when you come home. He’s a lost cause. Just download the Sale app, select the country you’re going to, the amount of data you want, and boom, you’ve got data right when you land. It’s so easy your mom could do it. And she doesn’t even know the difference between posting on her Facebook wall and sending a DM. No, mom, don’t post on your Facebook about my hemorrhoids. My crush saw that. And unlike other eim companies, they allow you to customize the amount of data you want, saving you money in the long run. And when you use my code SBA at checkout, you save an additional 15% which would be better spent on sushi in Japan or cigarettes in Japan or beer in Japan. Come on guys, use your savings on beer and cigarettes. I promise it’s a worthy investment into your happiness. Brought to you by SY. Scan this QR code to download SY today and use code SBA at checkout to claim your exclusive 15% off your next sale eim. All right, let’s time time to explore the uh the seat. Looks like we have a recliner here potentially. Let’s see what happens when we press this. That’s a luxurious recline right there. I feel like I’m in my living room. I got the my feet up on this [ __ ] I’m not sure what this thing does. Oh, yes, sir. Oh, it folds down. I didn’t even know that. Oh, [ __ ] [Music] Guys, this is the Japanese experience right here in the local guy. This is where you can see regular Japanese people going about their lives and insufferable vloggers. [Music] It was a little awkward. I thought it was going to be my My big moment, the return of the the famous foreigner who used to piss in these streets. And this is the old crib, guys. This is where I used to live when I was an English teacher here. Palace Gam. So, this is the the trash schedule. It’s very complex in Japan. It tells you on certain days, you’re only allowed to throw away certain materials of certain lengths and diameters and depths. So, it looks like you can throw out like cylindrical objects on maybe Monday. Long skinny objects. I didn’t throw away my garbage for a month because I didn’t know what to throw away on different days. So, I just sat inside in this lovely building with rotting, stinking garbage for one month because my dumb ass couldn’t figure out how to do it. Wow, guys. And right here after my first day of teaching English, we had beers. It’s just weird being physically in the same place. It feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah. I was basically like a different person back then. I had almost no life aspirations other than moving to Japan. No marketable skills. But who would have thought it would lead me to being a YouTuber, guys? Literally, the reason I have the job I have today is because of my time here. at Nova company. I do not recommend you work for them. But um it was during my time here I gained the independence. I gained the confidence to live abroad. As much as I hate Nova, I have to I have to say a do to Nova. Guys, before we get into all the drinking debauchery, I want to let you know we’re having our biggest merch drop ever at smallbrainame.store. We got flasks, shot glasses, koozies, you name it, we got it. Embroider rain jackets. [ __ ] check the fit, dog. We got Champion name brand. Okay, we got the Comfort Colors TE’s. All new designs. Go over to small brandame American store and get yourself something nice. Oh, look at this dude go. Oh [ __ ] Jose, he’s so in it. He doesn’t want to talk to me. This is a smoke shop. Looks like they have little gotcha pong for 5,000. A little gacha pong lighter. It’s used to hack your dopamine all you smokers. As if your dopamine wasn’t hacked already. Speaking of hacking your dopamine, we have a karaoke place. I don’t know, man. It looks like Oh, that’s slots. Slot Genesis. So, it’s a pico parlor. There’s many of these kind of establishments in Osaka, especially in Kilashi. Actually, you know what? Let’s go undercover in the Pachinko parlor. They don’t like filming, but but yeah, they’re all over Kilashi. That and like hostess bars and I don’t know. There’s all kinds of like weird little shady establishments. You see these little massage parlors over here? That’s karaoke. This, to be fair, could be like a totally above the table massage parlor. I don’t want to put them on blast, but you do have places like that here for sure. It’s on this street as well. Right next to the Pachinko slot parlor. See? Yes. They have these girls bars where you go talk to the girls. It charges um for 20 minutes. It’s 6,000 yen. So, uh yeah, that’s that’s what’s going on in this building. I’m not going to film a lot of that. Yeah. See, there’s there’s the times. It’s called Swing Bar. That’s what’s going on in Kilawish. very trashy neighborhood and I absolutely love it. It has It’s very dear to my heart. Look at all the colors and the fun little neon lights and that’s fun. This one’s called Goo. It’s 9:00 a.m. it opens. I don’t know if they’re run by Yakuza or what, but yeah. Goo. It’s in the basement. That’s how you know it’s good. I smell cigarettes coming from there. [Music] Oh, this is lovely. You can Oh, nice. All right. Whoa. It was a bit odd how they’re using Jesus music to sell sex. It’s a bit Christmas in Japan is a weird one. It’s They don’t I feel like they don’t really know what it is. They just kind of do it because the West does it. And there you go. You’ll have sex workers standing outside of places and um selling their bodies in the name of Christ. All right, enough [ __ ] I say we get this night really started with a visit to Super Family Mart. It’s crazy. They have everything. It’s like a supermarket in here. If you thought Bies was good in the US, this is like Well, it’s not quite as good, but it’s still very good. They have all these shampoos and beauty products, face masks, all kinds of supplements. They even have hoodies, pants, button-down shirts. I mean, guys, do I have to spell it out for you why this stuff is here? It’s for when you have an all night bender with your mistress in the hostess bar. You can come out here, buy a new shirt. Your wife won’t even know. Your co-workers will have no idea that you spent all night sucking tits in the lady bar, whatever the they call it. towels, rain jackets, actually decent looking collared shirts, tank tops, ties. You can buy ties in a freaking gas station, socks, all kinds of lovely socks. You got the Family Mart colors of the socks. It’s They have their own clothing line. We’re not here for socks. We’re here for cold cold alcoholic beverages. [Music] Yes. So, this little bugger is a little uh hangover cure, or should they say. That’s how it’s marketed. That’s how it’s sold. I’m not really sure if it works. Smells like like vitamins, ginger. I don’t know. But it’s what they do in Japan, guys. This is how you got to do a night out in Kilbashi. Usually, you’d go out with your friends or, you know, co-workers, whatever. But seeing as how I have done, this is what we’re left to do. Uh vlogger vlogger. Okay. Allight. Okay. Japanese. [Laughter] Okay. Okay. Okay. You’re a hustler. You’re a hustler. I’ll get you a drink. How about that? How about Okay. All right. I’ll I’ll get you one. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Oh, no. No, no, no. Okay, I’ll give you Sure. I think I’m getting hustled. How about I buy beer? One more beer. Okay. All right. I’ll give it to him. All right. All right. I’ll give it to him. Yeah. Guys down on his luck. I’ll give him a thousand helping the homeless. Fuel the alcoholism. I was going to buy beer anyways. Here’s Oh, let’s go to the barbecue. I gave him I gave him a photo. I already did it. I think he wants a selfie. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I already gave him. I already gave him. Okay. I don’t know what he said, but see you, bro. I think his friend owns a bar. I think that’s where we’re going. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. Sure. I don’t know what he’s saying. All right. All right. Okay. We could be going anywhere right now. Kickback. Kickback. Wait, what is that? What do you need? Okay, he needs I’m not sure if I’m getting held up for my money. I think we’re going to get his money from his ATM. Okay. [Laughter] Oh, okay. I have girlfriend. Don’t Don’t Don’t hit on them for me, sir. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. Okay. All right. Cigarette. Okay. Yeah. What is this place? All right. Looks like uh looks dec. I guess this is his spot. You can smoke upstairs apparently. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice song, man. Nice. He knows her from the videos for me. That’s crazy. There’s so many Burmese people that live here. I’m going to pick the most eccentric man in Kawashi to take me out for the night. I might be buying these drinks. I’m not sure who’s after. [Music] Oh yeah, look at that. Oh my god. Yes, sir. We got the mago, the tuna. Next. Okay. Okay. I don’t know what he’s saying. All right, let’s do one more with this guy. And one more. One more. One more. One more. Good man. Good man. All right, let’s do it. Oh, Christmas. Christmas. That’s what that is. Oh [ __ ] No. No. No. No. God. This [ __ ] This [ __ ] guy. He’s going to get me in trouble. Are we holding hands now? Hold hands. Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah. I’m going to not hold his hand now. Not sure where that’s been. It’s in there. It’s a tiny spot. Come on. Thank you. Yeah. Almighty. Yes. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. All right. Wrong [ __ ] man. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Did you get what word? I over here. Okay. Yeah. Well, I think he’s trying to give me money. Just handing me like $60, right? Present. All right. Okay. Sure. I can’t. I can’t. Come by. Okay. [Applause] One more. One more. Okay. Okay. Louis Vuitton bag. B bag. You’re back. All right. Come by, guys. He’s holding my hand. Says, “Cheers everyone.” All right. What? You give me more? Okay. Very generous. [ __ ] My lungs can’t. All right. Let’s do it. I guess when he gives you $60, you have to comply. Is this what it feels like to be a [ __ ] All right. Together. Come. I have to go home. I have to go. All right. All right. Last one. Last one. Thank you so much for enabling my alcoholism and this is I’m a little afraid to leave this two alone with how pushy this man is. Very kind man. But are you sure? Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. I’ll take it. Just give me 9,000 yen. It’s like like $65 for another. I just retreated to the bathroom. I’m not sure what to do about this man. He’s very kind, very sweet, extremely generous. mysteriously generous. I’m not sure why he’s giving me cash money, also buying my drinks. And I don’t know. I’m not sure what’s happening. So, I’ve retreated to this lovely little ’90s bathroom to uh to ponder, to have a think, and uh I’ve come up with no solution. Okay, I’ll have Oh, don’t touch it. Don’t touch it. I have I have all the money they can give you. I’ll give you something. Yeah, I guess it’s not good for it. the rest. There you go. Oh, yeah. She needs the money. Oh, she’s not around. I have the money. I don’t know if he’s good for it. I’m not sure what’s happening. She doesn’t seem happy. All right. I guess he’s going to leave his bag here and go find the money or something. I don’t know what’s happening. All right. Nice to meet you, bro. Okay. See you. Byebye. All right. What the is happening? Is he coming? Oh god. I make my escape now. I’m going to run down the alley. I don’t know what the [ __ ] is happening. I think he gave me the rest of his money and then that girl was like, “Where the is the rest of the check money?” And he’s like, “Oh no, I’ll go to an ATM and I’ll get it.” And that was soing weird. She was not happy. I’m going to go down this alley. Oh god. Oh god. [ __ ] escaping. He was a very nice man, but uh I just I don’t know. Felt like some shenanigans. He was like handing me cash, money, lots of it. For what? For nothing. Just to hang out. And then he didn’t have enough to give to the Onissan, the owner. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. My Buck. I want to show you guys one more place that I really love. Really local spot. I’m not sure if it’s still going to be open. Looking nice. Oh, wow. Super super crowded. They look full. They look full as [ __ ] Okay. All right. I’ll go. Oh my god. Oh god. Oh my god. It’s so full. It’s so full. Oh, what have I done? What have I done? Okay. Go. Sorry. All right. Okay. This is the worst nightmare of a foreigner. Can I get by? Oh god. Wow. All right. It’s too full. Outside. Outside. Thank you. All right. How do you learn Japanese? Uh [Music] Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, nice. Guy Fieri. Very good, sir. Yes. Guy Fieti. Flavor Town. I love Osaka. There’s so many characters. It’s where the rules just don’t apply. Like, no one gives a people just trying to have a good time. Gambling, hostess bars, okonomyaki, crowded [ __ ] isakayas. It’s incredible. The culture is amazing. I mean, you have to come out to the boonies in Japan. Don’t just go to Umea. Dobururi and Namba. Just go on the loop line, guys. The loop line in Osaka, the little little metro line. Just take the train and just get off at a ram station and you see amazing stuff like this. They’re letting me in. All right, they’re letting me in again. Come here. Okay. All right. Oh, finally. Okay. Here’s machine. [Applause] You speak you speak English. What did he say? Sorry. China. China. Love places like this. kill machine. It’s incredible. The culture is amazing. Just a cigarette on the floor. I feel bad, but it’s just how it goes. Okay. All right. Yeah. Where can I get the bartender? Wow, that was fast service. We got the radish with the spicy wasabi mustard. [ __ ] I love. This is exactly what I’m looking for when it comes to Japan. Like, you just can’t beat this. Byebye. I love you. All right. Byebye. Byebye. Byebye. Thank you. Byebye. I love you. Okay. Byebye. Good day. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye-bye. I love Osaka. Dude, right there. Look at all these people waiting in line at some [ __ ] ass restaurant when the best restaurant in Japan is right here. We love curry. That’s what I’m getting. Tonkatu curry. This might be a controversial stance after a night out, but I feel like curry is the pinnacle food. It’s slop. It’s fried. It’s got a bunch ofing rice and whatever toppings you want. And that’s what I’m getting right now. In these big chain restaurants, they always want you to order with a tablet. And I feel like uh I’m going to raw dog it. It I know exactly what I want. I’ve been here probably 50,000 times, so I don’t need a [ __ ] tablet with English on it. [Music] Oh. Oh, I have to use a beautiful. We have our level four spice curry, crispy, beautiful tonkatu pork, and uh apparently two things of fried garlic with spicy sauce. There is no better Japanese food. I’m convinced that any white person that says they like sushi is lying or it’s not worth the money. At the very least, you can admit it’s not worth the money. This is like $12 for a huge plate of gravy and fried pork and fried garlic. This is beautiful food. [Music] Thank you. Well guys, that was a lovely little night out in Kyoshi. I hope you can feel why I love this place. It has a huge piece in my heart. Absolutely love Kyoshi. The people and just the atmosphere, the whole vibe of the place. Just exactly what I love about Japan. And with that, I’ll see you guys in the next one. Have a good day, Maya. Let’s go, baby. Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] loves Texas Roads. Bye-bye.

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