The Perfect Egypt Layover

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On our way to Uganda to coach football Billy and I had a 13 hour layover in Egypt where we got emotional at the pyramids, rode camels, reviewed pizza, and crushed a zillion beverages. Upon arriving in Uganda, our adventure continued with an 8 hour drive to the Western part of the country for our gorilla trek. Despite some unfortunate car troubles, we both survived our trip around the planet in once piece! Last Chance Uganda premieres February 28th!
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Are you crying Billy in a few weeks I’ll be dropping a docu series about Billy and I coaching American football in Uganda but on the way there we had a 13-hour layover in Cairo which I thought warranted its own Vlog hey how are you there seems to be a

Bit of a sandstorm right now uh but that will that will burn off later in the day does sand burn you can’t like burn off sand I like it’s sand it’s not like no yeah it’s usually fog that burns off but um maybe the winds will die down this is

Worse than China on a bad smog day all right so look for a guy holding a sign that says emo tors I think he’s over here hello sir nice to meet you welcome thank you our first time tour guide secured we hopped in the van and

Headed to to see the last ancient wonder of the world still standing and on the way caught a tiny glimpse of the mighty Nile River no hippos we having first one to see the pyramids gets a free camel Rod holy smokes From started to finish just one pyramid he Tak just 20 years pretty damn impressive pretty damn smoggy too but um yeah it’s chill now I don’t believe that like aliens built the pyramids but I do believe in that potentially there was like an ancient ancient civilization

They say this was built around 3,000 BC really who knows it could could have been built like 10,000 BC or Ramsay the pharaoh who had it built he could have had it built on top of a structure that was from some other civilization that came even before the

Ancient Egyptians there’s still a lot of questions that need to be answered I mean chiseling one of these blocks with the tools they had then they’ve done some modern studies where one guy you know takes like the Hammers that they had in like one full day of hammering he

Was able to make like a like a one cm indent in the stone so I don’t know something’s up we don’t know the full story all the pyramids from long time ago he was covering by smooth Stone oh yeah yeah and they had like a a golden

Cap he was in the top exactly naon chambon the French guy he come here from long time ago like 750 Ed yeah when he see the gold in the cuops he do a lot of bombs yeah when the gold is fall down all the smooth stone is fall down with the

Pyramids this is what the stone used to look like so is it like this all the way up yes this is way more impressive in person yeah Yeah this is impressive thing I’ve ever seen I mean like MOA Lisa like you know when they like talk about all right well no one’s comparing Mona Lisa to the pyramids I know but like this is the first thing where like it’s not underwhelming it’s over yeah I could

Think of like 30 pieces of artwork that are more impressive than the Mona Lisa we still using the ERS over there from 900 ad do you want to peek inside yeah I’m down let’s go we didn’t have the right ticket to go inside but hey being on top of a pyramid

Was still pretty sick really on top of a we really is we really is this is Nuts who built the pyramids god Dude this is like a visual trip no other way to describe it like is airing are you crying Billy no it’s just really magnificent dude like humans literally carved this out of the desert and built two amazing monuments so long ago that it lasts this day it will last

Probably when we’re gone what do you think will last longer the Empire State Building or the Pyramids by far the Empire State Building it’s already been overshadowed and if you keep looking over there you have the name over there bying of R is the second dude this is Egyptian graffiti is that a

Sperm this looks like a sperm to me let’s see if there’s a deck we’re not leaving the pyramids until we find a [ __ ] all the all the kingdom he was not leaving here all the Kingdom at the ancient time it was living in memph not Memphis in steps Memphis in

Egypt Memphis in the States has a very large pyramid too yeah the last Pro here y it’s a Bass Pro Shop then the guy insisted on taking some cliche touristy photos of us exactly don’t move yeah that looks sick dude you’re the [ __ ] man smoke that pyramid you got it no move your I don’t know what you’re trying to do trying to smoke out so you be smoking from what from the

Top the bottom left is where I’m sucking y top of it is where I’m lighting okay all right cool yeah it looks like you’re smoking out of the pyramid it’s so cool and now take a deep a deep puff okay cool sweet Mo drugs the mids

Are dank bro the mids are dank just down the that did not look cool at all now it was time for that Camel Ride hey Cel does not like you these things remind me of creatures from like Star Wars fight my ass yeah we’re in a fullon camel Caravan hey are okay so pyramids are over there which means the Nile has to be close by and if we follow the Nile River to its source we’ll get to Uganda so I’d say we’re a little more than halfway there we’re coming we’re gonna get to Uganda and we’re going to beat

Kenya that’s a billy football guarantee we’re going to smack the [ __ ] out of here oh [ __ ] he just said we’re going to smack the [ __ ] out of Kenya hey Omar good how long would it take to uh ride these camels to the source of the Nile in Uganda how five hours okay

That’s that’s doable in America we ride horses do we Billy allar I would say your your average American probably doesn’t feel too comfortable on a Horse and another photo shoot C very small balls compared to other creatures Billy’s just uh checking out your camel’s balls don’t mind him I get this uh yeah did they respond to a yah turns out they definitely Do Now it was Spinx time SP is here yes let’s take a picture of me kissing the Spinx like making out Billy’s insisting on taking a photo where it looks like he’s making out with the Sphinx the Sphinx I think is male don’t want to show that to folks in

Uganda yeah Billy looks exactly like you’re kissing the SX it’s so cool by the way if you tell an Australian tourist you’re on your way to coach American football in Africa they will not be impressed American football American football strong amazing game aie rules football yeah jump in the a

Tackle no prot stupid game no prot hey guys they’re both cool games so this is what that the one guy on jro he’s like there is evidence of rain erosion and like it didn’t rain enough to erode rock until like except for like 20,000 years ago and so they’re like maybe that the

Original Sphinx was super old and they just and the head is new it used to have the head of a lion yeah yeah then they chopped yeah I saw that last yeah it seems like he wants to take us to like a Papyrus Museum so I think he might like

Want us to buy something there to help out his friends but I don’t I don’t know if if I want to go to that but turns out we didn’t have a choice after the Papyrus Museum where Billy was talked into buying three pieces of paper for 100 bucks we popped

In a restaurant to try the local Cuisine Egyptian dog oh no that’s so good what’s this that’s rice this is delicious the food was tasty but I was still a little hungry so we hit up another fine dining establishment I think we will just do one uh small Margarita yes where I was

Able to crank out a pizza review all right Frankie Pizza review Pizza Hut Giza or yeah Giza Egypt um as you can see it’s got quite the nice deck over here Billy’s being a [ __ ] weirdo cuz he’s my sound guy this camera doesn’t have great sound um I

Mean can’t beat the view this is a Pizza Hut are you [ __ ] me it’s also a KFC but I went down to get a a side order of fried chicken and was told no Fried Chicken on the roof Pizza Hut has a monopoly on the roof deck all right we

Got a a small Margarita I must warn you I’m I’m very jet lagged right now and I think I got heat stroke riding a camel around the pyramids earlier uh but look at that it’s a nice bubbly crust which I just [ __ ] love with my pizza I just something about bubbles in

The us you know it’s going to be good one bite everybody know The very light on the sauce in fact is there sauce yeah yeah I see a little sauce I knew it incredible crust better than Pizza Hut crust back in the US I’ll say it the rest of it I can take it or leave It we’re going to go 6.8 6.8 but the crust is an 8.5 easily the view a [ __ ] a 12 out of 10 Cairo in general little rough around the edges it actually reminds me of lot of Bagdad which I don’t know if the locals would take as a take as a compliment um

But Jesus Christ I mean we’re in a [ __ ] Pizza Hut and like this is the most famous monument of all time right [ __ ] lot of straight cats because actually did the Egyptians domesticate cats or did cats kind of like domesticate themselves it was you who was who was telling me that

Cats domesticated humans okay because they made us take care of them they didn’t really need us I’ll just have to trust you on that come for the crust stay for the views that’s the review all right we have three more hours not getting kidnapped by Hamas and

We’re good we still had time to kill before heading back to the airport so our guide pointed Us in the direction of one of the few spots nearby that sells beer pyramids Valley Boutique Hotel they got some Stella not Stella Artois the original Stella Egyptian logger beer Billy’s

Probably I not even joking I think he’s taken down 8 to 10 or server he probably concerned or impressed how many Stella is so far Billy uh enough Baker’s Dozen they’re going down like water I mean you’re never ever in your life going to be able to look at this View and get

Drunk cheers phys what a time we had one goal this layover and that was to see the pyramids and uh yeah can can definitely check that off the list we got a few more goals this trip we got a SE gorillas we got a beat Kenya well that’s

That’s the main goal that is the goal I mean if we can’t accomplish that then what’s the point of all these other goals stick to marathons Kenya leave American football to the ugandans can you beat us I don’t think so I got to say these Stellas have just been flowing Down the

Hatch there go especially with this view this is the most amazing megalithic structure I’ve ever seen in my life you walk up to the pyramid and see it and it’s full of Might and glory and you’re like humans could have never done that but then you’re like yes they did and

Then it inspires you that the human Spirit can accomplish anything yes we are closer tell the fact that you told me well that’s the fact everyone knows is that we’re closer to Cleopatra and Julius Caesar then Julius Caesar were we to the pyramids but um one a hell of a

Layover this is a golden hour we’re getting we’re getting a gee of golden hour like you see those camels like between the pyramid oh [ __ ] dude they were riding camels like that back when building these are some of the best beers I ever get I don’t know if we

Should be proud of this or not but we have officially uh dranken 20 beers but what else are you going to do when God blesses you with a pyramid golden hour maybe we’re going to get a salmon Sunset who knows but this was one for the Bucks once the sun sunk below the Horizon we grabbed the Uber back to the Cairo Airport where I took a quick trip to the Hoon lounge and Billy had one last tery at the Hipp iamus then we received a VIP escort to our plane due to the fact Billy claimed

To have a fractured ankle we’re with the disabled guy thank you we get a personal escort are you sure we’re not just going to prison don’t know just keep yelling yala Habibi and we’re good yala Habibi dude you you’re going to have to be scrapped down on this flight does everyone just keep

Yelling y will F I think we just agreed to go to jail with Billy I think so to we could have just gotten on the flight but then they’re like oh these your friends yeah we should probably bring them in jail I see PLS I see PLS VIP service baby

Officially made it to Uganda before we got down to business and started coaching practice we wanted to explore more of the country so hired a guide named Zachary to take us out to Western Uganda where we’d be going on a jungle Trek with East Africa’s most prized National Treasure Zachary right

Here is driving us to the Bundi National Forest right that’s uh one of the few places on planet Earth where where they still have wild gorillas looks to be a beautiful morning I got to say Uganda a lot greener than Egypt Billy’s in the back he took some turmes to go from the

Airport upon Landing in Uganda well first when we arrived he chugged two red bulls and then I was like why did you do that we’re about to drive for like 8 hours and he was like okay well now I need some turmes to counteract the Red

Bulls um I just sipped one myself we got the Nile special I felt like it was appropriate seeing we started at the end of the Nile and now we are all the way down at its source and I got to say right off the bat I was very impressed with uganda’s

Wildlife so are these bread for the long horns because humans like to collect the horns or oh yeah no no no no actually they they like the horns there’s something they get from the horns inside the horns and oh it’s probably for like breeding purposes too the longer the

Horn the more cow puss you’re going to be able to get hu them people pride in them very many no it’s okay he he’s not going to headbutt the car no no no no and and you see they also communicate to them oh yep he

Is we took our first Pit Stop of the day to commemorate crossing the Equator so we are uh at the equator line about to cross it don’t make me do it I’ll do it I’m going to cross the Equator boom South the equator baby and

I believe this guy is going to show us an experiment so we do an experiment here to prove that the forces of North and the South don’t spin the same where we got to observe how water drains clockwise in the northern hemisphere anticlockwise in the southern hemisphere

Oh my God and directly down on on the equator line who take that flat earthers what happens if I spin around I just start spinning she’ll probably just Puke our next stop was at a lodge overlooking Lake buoni the second deepest lake in Africa this is a Far Far Cry from Giza look behind me this is the greenest scene I’ve ever seen we’re just making a quick pit stop for lunch Billy’s over there talking UFC to a

Couple people and Kobe comington you know he went for oh like two I think it’s do you guys know Patty the baddy Patty theat yeah Molly and um Patty worked for our company for a bit no way they had a partnership with barol sports you work for barol yes I

Follow Sports and B still you oh you do yeah nice I think because I was back that was the time when I was getting heavy into NC uh NCA after quickly brushing up on some football fundamentals it was time to hit the road again see you guys later 100% see see

You come to the game if you can if you guys are oh we’ll be there 100% you’ll be there awesome love the support let’s go find some gorillas Billy’s out of the boot and on the Booze how’s it going I’m Donnie Mazu this is Billy Mazu you should have dropped more candy wait do you actually have candy Billy H it’s kind of like a chocolate bar Billy’s giving kids protein bars they’re going to be they’re going to be strong they’re going to be

Jacked any more I think you’ll survive about protein bars Billy Billy’s taking a quick piss break so the main question grope in this area uh Irish potatoes Irish potatoes all right I know they call Uganda the pearl of Africa but they they could also call it the Ireland of Africa because it’s very green and they grow potatoes yeah

And they like to drink they like to Drink almost there yeah yeah as we continued West the roads got progressively worse and just as we pulled up to the gate of our gorilla trekking Lodge disaster struck braks the brakes gave out oh wait wait wait wait okay so we have arrived at our

Lodge for the night um it was a very very smooth trip until the last literal 5 Seconds of it when the brakes gave out in our van and we just drove into the front of the lodge Donnie screamed like a girl I was I was like I mean we’re about to hit

Some dude in a plastic chair we shattered that plastic chair he thankfully got out of the way this had an airbag I would have gotten this [ __ ] kicked out of me oh it’s got this thing this is good driver’s agur he’s a little distraught it’s all right yeah I feel bad about the

Car yeah it’s okay I can repair this is what we’re going to do yeah we’re going to give him the money to pay for the brakes yeah we could have gone off a cliff if they went out like 3 miles earlier everything worked out I mean we

We arrived in style and I arrived in style I mean just slammed into the front the mzungus are here you’re gonna be hearing the word mzungu a lot on this trip it just means white person in Uganda and yeah the mzungu arrived in style tomorrow morning we’re waking up

At like 6:00 a.m. and we’re going to track some gorillas I am pumped and uh Billy got heavy duty bug spray for us so we don’t get malaria but um I was about to just spray this all over me uh it’s not supposed to go on your

Skin it’s for tents or clothing I’m also just going to be slugging J and tonics because the quinine and tonic water can help ward off malaria gnts invented by the Brits in India I think uh because it was the it was the only way they could W off malaria before malarone was invented

Should we uh do an experiment if the Beer Drinker gets malaria it means that gen tonics work I mean if I drank as many gnts of you as you’ve been drinking beers think we’d be in trouble I think malaria would be [ __ ] mosquito would bite me and then

Just drop dead tune back in next Wednesday for our gorilla Tre and on February 28th get ready for the premiere of Last Chance Uganda la