I wrote about it way back at the tail end of 2024. It seemed ridiculous and absolutely unnecessary, but totally worth a shot back then. Now that it’s been officially revealed, it seems even dumber, even more excessive, and even more of a thing that I want to do at least once before I die.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the human washing machine. Specifically, as Japan Times reports, it’s the Mirai Human Washing Machine, a 2.3-meter-long cleansing capsule that looks like a starcruiser’s escape pod. It is now officially a purchasable product, assuming you have ¥60 million (about $385,000 US) and a deep hatred of traditional showering.
Developed by Osaka-based tech company Science, the machine is essentially a full-body spa session condensed into 15 minutes. You lie down, the lid closes, and a barrage of microbubbles, fine-mist showers, ambient visuals, and soothing music do the cleaning for you. Sensors monitor your heartbeat and vital signs continuously. It’s a cross between a deprivation chamber and a dishwasher.
How Does the Human Washing Machine Work?
This device became one of the breakout attractions of the most recent Osaka Expo. It drew more than 40,000 prospective bathers and helped attract a large share of the event’s massive 27 million visitors.
That attention, plus interest from an unnamed U.S. resort company, convinced Science to take the prototype commercial. A hotel in Osaka bought the first unit, presumably for guests who have long fantasized about what it must be like to be a dirty dish.
Now that height has been sufficiently built, home electronics giant Yamada Holdings wants a piece of the pie. The company plans to display a working demo of the Mirai Human Washing Machine at its flagship Ikebukuro store starting December 25, complete with an “experience corner” where visitors can see what all the hype is about.
Actual sales dates are still TBD, but only about 50 machines will be produced, making this the Lamborghini of showers.
Science Chairman Yasuaki Aoyama says the ultimate goal is to let people who missed the expo finally try out futuristic bath tech that, according to the company’s marketing line, doesn’t just wash the body, it “washes the soul.”
Don’t forget to whisper your sins as it hoses you down.
AloJapan.com