So how will Hawaii’s next generation survive in Hawaii? With the cost of living so high and the lack of economic diversity in the State, will we see a lot more of the younger generation leave Hawaii for the mainland? This is something I’ve been thinking about lately at the start of 2023. Life is still challenging in Hawaii now, and I wonder what it will be like in 30 years. Will my kids be able to afford to live here? Will they want to live here? And if we push our kids to receive the best education and introduce them to great opportunities, will we just be pushing them to a better life on the mainland? Does the State have the economic foundation so that our best and brightest who leave for college and work on the mainland have the incentive to move back to Hawaii?
Intro – 0:00
What are our goals for the next generation in Hawaii? – 0:48
The pressure of raising kids in Hawaii – 1:51
Even if you do all the “right” things – 2:42
Staying in Hawaii and being successful – 3:50
Who is actually leaving Hawaii? – 4:31
Do I regret moving back to Hawaii after years on the mainland – 4:50
Moving back might not be worth it for others – 5:28
Most local kids end up living in Hawaii – 5:43
Easiest way to keep local kids here, in my opinion – 6:22
Why would someone successful come back to Hawaii ? – 7:07
Best reason to return to Hawaii – 7:53
How my parents raised us in Hawaii – 8:26
Takeaway for parenting my own kids – 9:08
What does success look like for the next generation? – 10:16
Filmed using the Canon Vixia G60.
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31 Comments
What more can our State do to ensure that the next generation will want to live in Hawaii, especially when there are more appealing opportunities elsewhere?
They have been saying these same things for a long time. When I left after UH in the 90s, they wrote Advertiser articles about the "brain drain". They tried to create high tech jobs, but never really succeeded.
They also use to quesiton how the Japanese were buying all the land/homes. Then it went to the Chinese. Now it's how to limit the airbnb's, vrbo's, etc.
Like they say, same crap different day.
Chris, you need to get into politics. You explain issues very eloquently.
First is to instill the value of ohana/family. Then having thoughts and beliefs in being the best you can. Whether that's education, profession or anything else. Then I feel that is success anywhere you are.
Basically; getting priced off the rock.
I think the new generations will think of other creative ways to make money and there will be plenty of opportunity in Hawaii or anywhere 😊
Hi, I wish it is not sound rude, but have you think about sending your sons to the school in Japan? I think that the good education in the US is really expensive. In Japan, we have so many good private and public schools, and even if you choose to send your children to a private school, the tuition is a lot less than most of US private schools. My parents, they were not rich, but were so serious about good education. They often told me that the can not leave me a lot of money but a good education. They didn’t push me hard but always said how important the education is. Good education is like doors to the world, and it would give me more opportunities in my future.
Your sons will come back to Hawaii like you if they want. And people with good education will do good to Hawaii’s future.
You equated coal mines to tourism. I’m not sure that is a good comparison. People live here for paradise and great weather all year round. Working in that industry gets you close to the environment and culture. Coding and working at a desk indoors 12 hours a day doesn’t seem like a great way to live your life in Hawaii. You can do that anywhere. My friend quit a high paying job at Google to take a less stressful job here locally to spend time with his wife and kids and enjoy the island. Plus he said AI is gonna destroy coding in the future sooooo???
Great insight but you have to realize that these questions were prevelent during my time in the 70s. Leaving kalihi for college was an exciting time and as i experienced life without social media i found that growing up in hawaii had a distinct flavor with the traditions of ohana. Mainlanders were always very mobile and it was not unusual for families to be spread across the globe. For various reasons hawaii is in this mobile life style but the main reason to leave seems to be future economics. My parents worried about their 7 children, i worry about my children and my grandchildren will be the avenue of more worry. Yes, we do survive and know that there isnt a perfect solution but do enjoy the ride because there isnt a destination. Cant believe its been about 45 yrs since i left hawaii but the journey has kept me very distracted. 🙂 ted … farrington 74'
As usual your thoughtful introspection on Hawaii is beautiful and well thought out. Being the son of one immigrant and one local boy I was pushed in two directions. My father saw how ppl with an education flourished and did very well for themselves. His dyeing wish was for me to have a good education and to have more than him. Having lost him at a young age, my mother made sure I got a good education at the same private school my brother went to. At $1000 a year Cathedral School was a bargain for what it taught. For a family that lived on $500 a month it was still a lot of money. My mother was also an immigrant from China, and having lived through the communist revolution was very adverse to raising successful children. She saw university professors, artists, and scholars gunned down in the streets of China during the revolution as they were labeled elitists and were seen as keeping the commoners down in society. So she aligned with the Japanese immigrants in the "keep your head down" mentality. Don't stick out, don't show off, don't try to prove yourself, especially to the white people. The nail head that sticks out gets hammered down first was the adage they followed. These were teachings from her that were constant for me at a young age. While they enraged me in my teens I now see that she was trying to protect me. Her philosophy was that there was nothing better than Hawaii. That the mainland was a terrifying place full of death and racism, and that the "white demon" as they called the Caucasians would never accept an Asian to succeed there.
I'm happy to report that the immigrant mindset in Hawaii is wrong for most parts of the US mainland. Mind you I would not recommend hawaii ppl to try to make it in parts of the country like rural Alabama or rural Kentucky as it isn't a place for non-white ethnicities. Even my caucasian friends report it being uncomfortable for them when they lived there.
What can Hawaii do to keep their best and brightest in the islands? 2 things.
First break the immigrant mindset that you should keep your head down and just work hard. Break the immigrant mindset that you should keep quiet and not say anything if you see something wrong that can be fixed. I have seen this at all levels in Hawaii even with the Rail fiasco that is draining hundreds of millions of dollars and going no where. A female city council woman challenged the Rail administrators on TV and asked them "what guarantees can we get that you won't spend another billion dollars on only a few miles of rail?" That woman challenged them to provide any kind of assurance that they wouldn't waste all the taxpayers money. That was seen as too aggressive and she was removed from the board. People in Hawaii don't like to call out problems. It is part of japanese culture to not actually say something is bad and needs to be fixed. They may elude to it but will never say, man this hamburger sucks and here's why. Without an honest critical feedback with real world metrics to fix things Hawaii will always be a third world state. My first job in IT was to gain the trust of local city employees so I could get honest feedback on a new desperately needed system to bring us into the current decade. 2 other companies had failed to deliver because they couldn't get feedback, because the locals thought it was rude to point out the problems. But mostly because the locals didn't trust the other companies. Me being a local boy and being able to speak pidgin broke that barrier.
While the first item above is monumental, the second is even tougher. Break up the Keiretsu that controls Hawaii. It's no secret that Hawaii gets more than 50% of their goods and necessities from the mainland and from other countries. What most people don't know is that the shipping lanes are controlled by a few companies and that is WHY everything is so expensive for locals. Matson and Young brothers run a monopoly on the shipping lanes. Multiple times foreign shipping companies have offered to run goods between the islands and the mainland and other countries, and every time they were turned away by politicians owned and controlled by this Keiretsu of companies. The inter-island ferrry which had bought and built ferry boats, bases of operations and docks were shut down by another set or the same Keiretsu and basically kicked out of Hawaii. Because they threatened the establishment. If you are in family of companies of the Keiretsu or a relative in the Keiretsu you will do well in Hawaii. For everyone else, you are stuck. Generational wealth and success may take you several generations to "succeed". And believe me when I say success in Hawaii is not the same as it is here on the mainland. Corruption is rampant in Hawaii and all of the companies and people in power work together to ensure that never changes.
The bleak reality is that those 2 things will never happen. So Hawaii will never change. You might see bright silver linings when someone who is innovative and truly cares about the people is in power briefly, but they will fight an uphill battle against a tsunami of old world thinking and rigid Keiretsu lines that you do not cross if you are to remain in power. That line always comes up as a crossroads for those of upstanding morals and compassionate hearts. In the end doing the right thing ends their career as the locals turn on them for breaking rank and not falling in line as most immigrants have been taught to do.
That discussion is very thoughtful and troubling for the next generation.
It's a tough question both sides have good points, as I parent you to your kids use their full potential & ability even if the parent left alone aging but the opportunities aren't in HI, its a sad answer for parents & offspring. Endless argument
Family is the only real reason to go back. Sadly many of us chose to leave when we were younger and were looking for adventure. Easy to leave without looking back when adventure is what you want. It’s not til you’re older that you have regrets for leaving but by then, after 40+ years of reestablishment, it’s difficult to go back. Therein lies the dilemma… Do you go back to try and pick up where you left off or do you leave everything you worked most of your adult life for including your own children,grandchildren, friends etc…. Just to recapture memories of younger days? After many visits and watching my family grow up (and old) without me, I long to be a part of that. Oftentimes, I have to remind myself that those pictures of all the happy moments I’m missing are literally a snapshot frozen in time. Visits are just that. Everyone is happy to see you and willing to make the effort to get together for a short time but the reality is there’s still the everyday life where kids are in school, adults at work and routines are already established. Moving and living there will not be the same as visiting.
In keeping with the idea that we want what’s best for our children, when my parents were younger they cheered on and encouraged us to seek opportunity elsewhere. It wasn’t until they got older, that they too longed to have all of us nearby. By then it was too late to return to home base permanently.
Until Hawaii leaves the plantation mentality behind and has more opportunities to offer young people, it will continue to experience a brain drain. As is common throughout the country, people go where the jobs and opportunities are.
Sounds like you’re doing lots of thinking yourself especially where it concerns your children. No matter where we choose to live and what reason we chose to live there,It’s up to us as parents to keep family traditions alive and to instill in our children those family values we hold dear. Today, technology and telecommunications is such that We can now keep in touch via FaceTime and Skype or old fashioned phone calls at a minimal cost. My family has a program that enables us to share our photos so we can remember what we all look like and won’t be too much of a stranger when we are all able to get together.
Hawaii is a beautiful place but there are many beautiful places in this world. Hawaii is just one of many. As the saying goes, Home is where the heart is. . .
Have you ever done a segment about the cost of retirement & eventual elderly care here versus selling & moving away to have a more enjoyable golden years with fixed income?
Either the sun will destroy us or A.I will take over the entire work force #future
Where do you get your hats? Can I get one on the big island?
Another great video! Although I live in the UK in London, I feel like the islands have so much potential with remote work. I work in digital marketing and I wouldn't think twice to relocate to Oahu if I have the chance. I can still do my work from home and enjoy the amazing natural beauty what Hawaii has to offer in my spare time. By the way, absolutely love the baseball cap! 🤙
Many have moved to TX, CO and NV. Forget CA. My friend moved to HI just a few years ago. But he's an executive and moved to Hawaii Kai just under the wire.
My fiancé and I moved to Seattle 3 years ago and both of our family’s barely even left Hawaii due to financial constraints. Now her and I have flourishing careers even without a college degree, and live a life that we couldn’t even imagine in Hawaii. Now, my fiancés sister and childhood friend want to move in with us to pursue their own careers.
Having her parents or mine expect us to come back is almost selfish, because doing so would ask so much of us. If we moved back we probably wouldn’t even be able to get jobs in our fields without a college degree and even then we would be paid considerably less. Not to mention Hawaii sometimes isn’t the most progressive when it comes to work life balance. Many jobs don’t even allow remote work in Hawaii because of the time difference.
Getting teased as a haole boy growing up on Maui I wouldn’t want if and when I have kids going through what I went through in that respect either. Fights and bullying is an everyday thing there and nobody sees it as a problem. My fiancés younger brother is teased for being partially blind and no teacher or parent cares enough to intervene. That wouldn’t happen here in Washington, it would be taken very seriously.
Hawaii will be the same as it always was, and that’s what I love coming back to for family visits and holidays. But, unless things change it’s just not a viable option. I don’t like the weather in Seattle, but there’s like 20 other states with good weather and beaches.
Sometimes because of the feeling of living on an island, people can’t see another way of living. They can’t look at their society and life critically because it’s all they have and see around them.
And it’s sad seeing many of my old friends still in the same place in regards to career and in many cases maturity. Some have even fallen into bad habits and lazy people. Almost all of my graduating class left Hawaii, and to be honest I think it’s a good thing. The state needs to step up and do more than just focus on tourism because it’s not sustainable economically.
But I know that won’t happen.
I left the island 21 years ago and after raising kids on the mainland, I returned to raise my younger children here. I think the people romanticizing the mainland is just that. The grass is greener where you water it but where we lived (Nevada) was becoming a retirement community with little resources for Keiki. Opportunities are limited here and if I didn’t make money on the mainland with the real estate market & starting a business in no income tax states – coming back would be hard.
So why did I return? I want my children to have some sort of connection to their Hawaiian and Asian heritage. For family, I’ve had two relatives die this year alone and being able to be near family is so important. But if not for my kids, I doubt I would have moved back. It’s so much more kid friendly here. Human trafficking is such a huge problem on the mainland & there are more resources for children here. I marvel anytime I take my kids to see the doc & I’m given referrals to pediatric specialists rather than just a regular specialist.
I do live in my car a lot more now with traffic but at my age I’ve come to realize no place is perfect. I’ve lived all over the US thanks to a former spouse who was military. Figured out I’m a west coast or Hawaii person after going to school on the east coast and also spending time in the Midwest. Again, the grass is greener where you water it
born and raised in hawaii im planning to move cant stand over population heavy traffic idiots dont know how to drive and use turn signals less travel options taxes. ill will miss the foods and beaches
I love your videos because you always vocalize and discuss issues that have always been on my mind.
My brother and I went to UH and stayed in Hawaii. Yes, we struggled but we were able to make it by living within our means. We had the valuable benefit of having our parents in our children’s lives. My dad picked up our sons from elementary school and they spent the afternoon with them. My parents were able to instill their values in our children, values we were brought up with. Our children were able to create and value family traditions with us and they respected and loved their grandparents so much. Yes, when we were young parents, everything you mentioned about educating our kids so they could get good jobs was our goal. We sent them to Kumon and private school for intermediate and high school. Yet, we were still always on top of them to study hard and make good choices. They played sports and participated in other extracurricular activities. Our older son went to college and post graduate school on the mainland and now has a good job on the mainland. I think he would be able to make it in Hawaii but it will be his choice. I always wonder if he will ever come home and raise a family where his children will have a relationship with their grandparents. We can only hope.
Teach them to start their own businesses. Break out of the "sacred cow" mindset. Good education equals good job. Not always the case. There's no place like Hawaii. Success really comes down to relationships.
The only reason future generations would want to continue living in hawaii is if hawaii turned red. Voting Democrat the past multiple decades has ran this state into the dirt and it will most likely never come out the grave they have dug themselves. Also maybe if locals stopped swarming all the McDonald’s on the islands and ruining their keiki’s health, through processed foods, and instead invested that money into the stock market or crypto market, they could end up being able to provide properly for their family. Working 9-5 and eating McDonald’s every day isn’t a recipe for leveling up or keeping up with the times. Too many locals are simply lazy and ignorant on the islands and that is why they will never leave. Don’t hate the game, hate the player. Don’t blame anyone else for your poverty and ignorance except yourself. Just because you’re a local doesn’t give you the right to sit around and complain about being priced out of your homeland. Work harder, work smarter, stop feeding your keiki McDonald’s, start voting republican for a change. It’s pretty simple. Instead everyone in Hawaii has to throw a pity party and play victim their whole life. Go out and make a change for your ohana and stop complaining about everything in hawaii. You all dug our own grave by voting Democrat for decades. Nobody feels sorry for you. And Hawaii would have been overtaken by another country if it wasn’t America when they did so don’t you bitch about that either. This “I can’t catch a break” crap is the main problem here. Hawaii is one big pity party and it’s pathetic. Try working harder/smarter and maybe you’ll deserve to live here instead of complaining, working the same job your whole life that doesn’t pay enough, not investing your money properly, eating McDonald’s and always finding a way to play victim. Hawaiian locals love finding excuses to do the bare minimum and never level up for the sake of their future keiki generations. It’s honestly hilarious that people in hawaii think they have it rough. You literally live in HAWAII AKA paradise and all everybody does is complain still. Try living in another country besides America and see how difficult life can really be.
I don't have kids but to me looking from the outside it seems like the private school thing is more of a status symbol for the parents than it is about education for the kids. You can get a good education in public school. I went to public school. I worked hard to get through school. I went to UH. Stayed here and got a job. I finally worked myself through the ranks and now I'm finally at a place where I can say yeah I'm successful. In fact in my job, it seems like we have the most issues with the private school people than the public school people. They have a really hard time adapting to not doing book work and realizing how things work outside of the academic world.
It seems like parents have this need to show that they can provide everything when all that really matters is what do the kids want. Yeah you can try to expose them to things to give them options but you don't have do go all in on every single thing like parents tend to do. Again, its a status thing. Just be you and let your kids be their own person. It doesn't matter what everybody else is doing.
I think it’s absolutely crazy how many people send their kids to private school here. I’m not gonna say I’m 100% happy with our education system. I have my gripes. But scrimping and saving to spend every last cent on tuition when you can go to school for free seems like total insanity. Send your kids to public school and use some of that extra energy to push for improvements in the public school system.
Hawaii is not the Hawaii I grew up with. There is more tension and "attitude". Ohana is there but has gotten smaller. Intolerance has increased.
Happiest is not in a location. It is with the people you care for and care for you. Older locals like myself, often reminisce about the old days. Those memories are cherished but gone forever. It's okay for people to stay or leave Hawaii.
Incredibly thoughtful discussion and a bit depressing. My family didnʻt have the education themselves, nor the means to provide for us, so there was never any life preparation. But I remember how desperately I believed my life could be bettered just by getting "off the rock" (waaaay before social media). Went to the mainland, studied, and spent 30 years and every spare dime going back home to the rock. My kids grew up (on the mainland, albeit with Kamehameha summer camps) understanding the significance of their Native roots, and my greatest wish was for them to attend college in Hawaiʻi and make Hawaiʻi their home. But one is pursuing his MA in Germany; one is doing the same in China and the third in CA. I guess all we can do is provide love, support, and encouragement and hope for the best. In retirement, I could come home — but I have no idea how my children could support themselves and their families if they follow me home. Auwe.
That's my story. My parents are old so now I go back 3 to 4 times a year to visit.
The key is the side hustle. Don't get on that hamster wheel of life…school, work, retire at 65 or older. This is a great country, you can accomplish whatever you want, you have that freedom and ability…question? What are your goals and do you have a plan to get there or did you just get comfortable with the work to 65-70 and retire? Look into F.I.R.E. School is the answer for a career. Financial education is the answer to FIRE.
Great food for thought
Good question. With my son's it was easy because there were big kids there a Hawaiian well half, spoke pigeon and really fit into the public schools. My daughter is visibly East Asian and really had a hard time in downtown public school I won't say which one but it's a nightmare she wants to carry pepper spray into middle school next year and she's so intelligent not a day goes by that I don't think about taking her to the mainland if I can't get her into private school. Middle School is where the biggest fears come in I'm telling you I just really think of bailing out of Hawaii for something better for her sake. I don't see any good jobs here because you got to be connected at all about connections and she's not going to have that that's her dad's not from here he's from another country and my family is scattered here. Raising girl is a very different from raising boys cuz boys you raise them to be strong and independentbut my generation the way I was raised was you are raised to be a lady and to be a good wife someday and that's just not how it is these days it's like you got a raise strong girls with mouths and you know teach them that it's okay to go to planned Parenthood and they're teaching kids from Grade 5 about gay rights it's just a whole new life and I just I feel too old for this if I had to do it this year I would never have kids and bring them into this generation never ever