this is episode 3 of solo in tokyo. not really sure what to say about it, but I wanted to document an accurate & honest account of how it felt to travel solo in japan. I really did not have death on my first solo trip bingo card. but that’s life baby!
turns out seeing some good art really helped me process my emotions. museums visited in this video: teamLab PLANETs, yayoi kusama museum. I hope you’ll be gentle with me in the comments for this one 💗
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Other videos you might like 🫶
Solo in Tokyo Episode 1: https://bit.ly/3Ps0VHW
Solo in Tokyo Episode 2: https://bit.ly/3WsMu8Q
Karma still isn’t real: https://bit.ly/3CjpFvR
Midnights predictions: https://bit.ly/3RDyPJe
What secret sessions are really like: https://bit.ly/3Bhay5B
Midnights & VMA’s reaction: https://bit.ly/3S2L16R
A thorough taylor swift red carpet fashion roast: https://bit.ly/3Lk4HBa
VERY unpopular swiftie opinions: https://bit.ly/3DoAlL
49 Comments
I’m so sorry for your loss. Love sent to you and your family’s way.
Zack thank you for sharing these moments and including it in the vlog. Our grandparents make our lives softer kinder and warmer and the emptiness becomes really loud once they leave. But that's how life is. Strength and love to you and your family! 🤍
i’m so sorry for your loss. i also recently lost my grandpa at the end of october from the same thing. make sure to take time for yourself ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss babe.😢 The death of a loved one is no joke, and being on the other side of the world must’ve been awful. Sending lots of love to you and your family.❤️
It's so hard to come up with the right words when someone suffers such a loss. I'm sending compassion while you and your family grieve. It's incredible how uniting youtube can be. I went through a similar situation during one of my years at university when my grandmother died right before finals week. I was too far away to be able to complete my finals and make it back in time for her service, and even though I KNEW she would want me to finish the semester strong because she was so proud of me and my education, I still felt so much guilt about my decision to not be there. I want to let you know that now, 6 years later, I know that I made the right decision and that she'd be so comforted in my choice. You know what your grandad would have wanted for you, and while it can be so difficult to not be there, those magical, supportive grandparents who want the best for us understand. Thank you for posting such a beautifully moving and honest series about being comfortable with yourself. It has honestly been inspiring to watch this, and I hope you know how much of an impact this kind of work can have on others.
Si sorry for your loss, something similar happened to me a couple of years ago, I was in Paris for a language exchange program for 3 months when I found out my Grandma had died, it was hard, so I send my deepest condolences to you and your family
earnest, raw and heartwrenching. the way you talk about your grandfather made me so emotional. i definitely do not want to make this about me, but i lost both of my grandparents in 2020 and i'm still grieving and as you said it's a journey. i cried with you when you were talking about him. more power to you. i loved the shots of you in the live art installations which reminds me i'm so so excited to go to the van gogh exhibition happening in february here. i'm definitely going to be reminded of you. thank you for doing this zach. these videos are so so impactful.
I’m so sorry for your loss Zach, your grandfather sounds like such a lovely man. I too just lost a close loved one, and he too was one of the most loving, and kind people I’ve ever met. I think you’re absolutely right, we honour them, and their legacy by carrying on the kindness, empathy, and all the other beautiful traits they taught us. I also want you to know that your videos have helped give me some comfort and distraction in this difficult time in my life, I hope you too have something that can give you that. Take care of yourself. ❤
What was that patch of white at 9:03 in front of your heart area resp. sweatshirt collar that appeared for a split moment right after you had said your Grandfather Walter was all about "people looking out for each other and…"? 🤔 I'm not acquainted with filming and the tech of it, so don't know if that was just a camera gear caused artefact? 🤔
Sending hugs from Germany 🤗 I have lost all my grandparents in the meantime, so understand how you feel. Hugs! 💜
I am so sorry for your loss. The death of a family member or loved one is hard enough but when you’re thousands of miles away it’s all the worse. So much love sent to you and please remember how strong you are. All the best ❤❤❤
I just wanted to say I love the relationship you have with your family, I have a similar one with mine. I’m also Irish and our grandfathers seemed incredibly alike and had a very similar life. Sending all the love to you ❤
Thank you so much about sharing about your grandfather, he seemed to be an awsome person ❤️ I also loved how sweet you were when seeing the little kids… Truly like you said "Circle of life" ❤️
I lost my grandpa when i was on an exchange year in 2020. I couldn't go home to say goodbye because of covid. I feel for you <3
I'm with you in the heartache. Lost my grandmother last sunday and the pain feels unbearable right now. What a blessing to have been so loved and what a great gap that's left behind. I hope you're doing well and that all of this will get easier eventually. ❤
Long live all the magic we made…
I'm positive your grandfather is truly honored to know his legacy is living on in you.
Don't ever lose him 💝
We love you!
I’m so glad you were able to have friends and family support on your trip. Grief is something that does get easier to carry as we learn how to move forward with it, but it’s not something to “just get over that should never bother you again”. Whatever process you go through, it’s right for you ❤️
Having lost a grandparent with dementia I know how heart breaking of an illness it is. Thank you for being so raw, sending so much love ❤️
zach, I am so so sorry for your loss. sending so much love to you and your family. having lost three grandparents in the past three years and having not entirely come to terms with the enormity of my own grief, hearing you speak about your grandfather was so beautiful and made me so emotional. hope you’re doing okay and once again sending so much love and hope ❤
I cant imagine how difficult it must have been to film and edit this video. im so so proud of you, especially in an age where authentic vulnerability is not a common theme on the internet its super refreshing to see this and i really respect and admire you Zach, for putting yourself in this position and situation and handling it so well. Dont get me wrong i love the normal pop girlie videos they always brighten my day and your harsh opinions never fail to make me laugh but to be able to see the whole person behind the screen that includes their successes as well as their troubles is a really rare beautiful thing. sorry to ramble haha but this video really hit me hard. love you, I'm sorry for your loss and as always keep up the amazing work
– Sonny <3
Medical student here, just fyi paracetamol and acetaminophen are the same molecule despite having different names ☺️ I love this series, keep it up. My condolences Zach
So sorry for your loss. You must share that great wit. This series was very artfully shot and produced. 👏
Thank you for trusting us with your honesty and vulnerability in this video ❤️ it was an honour to hear you speak about your grandfather Walter. He sounds like a truly incredible person, who clearly had such a profound impact on your own worldview and personhood. I can see lots of traits that you described which have clearly passed to you and shine through in your content and how you interact with us all. I’m going out with friends later for drinks and I’ll make sure to remember to raise a glass in his honour, I may not have ever known him but it seems like the least I can do ❤️
I know what it's like to receive tragic news when you're far away from your family and you have to fight every instinct to get on a plane and return to them. You're very brave and resilient darling x
i’m so sorry for your loss. my grandfather also passed away from dementia about 3 months ago. i understand how difficult it is to lose a grandparent, especially from this disease. thank you for posting this, it actually helped me a lot with dealing with my own grieving. sending love to you and your family 💗
I’m so sorry for your loss, Zach. Sending love to you and your family. I really admire you for being able to share your honest thoughts and feelings with us. Thank you for showing us how complex grieving can be <3
Walt sounds like a true gentleman. You're lucky to have had him. And he'll continue to watch over you!. Sending love.
Your Grandfather sounds just so fantastic. I really love that you took the time in this video to talk about him, even if it was emotional. Thank you for sharing, and again so sorry for your loss. I started watching your videos because of Taylor Swift content and I am really enjoying the content that is "you" specific. Keep going <3
Zach thank you for sharing the beautiful memories you had with your grandfather. I'm in a puddle of tears. I love this style of videos please keep going. can't wait to watch the next one. <3
I’m sorry for your loss Zach, I wanted to say that your content, no matter if there your vlogs, your pop culture videos or the podcast they always make me and I’m sure everyone else here feel a lot better. Never stop doing what your doing. Also, the little kids that were walking were adorable.
🙏🙏🙏
Also the vejas rant.. ty for the tea
I went to Kyoto! It felt so spiritual
So sorry that you lost your grandpa. I also lost a grandparent this year and this video is honestly so helpful to me. You have such a unique way expressing things and it's so beautiful. Thanks for sharing this deeply vulnerable side of your trip 💘
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Watching this was really cathartic, so thank you for sharing so openly. 💜
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my grandparents was absolutely devastating to me. It's such a blessing to have those amazing people in your life for as long as you have had them. It takes time. Honestly, the holidays are usually not the same once you lose people close to you. I hope you will be ok. Thanks for the amazing videos and content you give us.
Thank you so much for your bravery in showcasing this kind of vulnerability to the internet. I can only imagine how daunting it must’ve been to post this, and I think doing so is a wonderful testament to both your love for your grandfather as well as your dedication to reflect and tell your story honestly and authentically. I’m confident this video will make so many people feel seen when they feel so alone dealing with their own grief.
There are no right words that I can say here, as a stranger on the internet, to you that can resolve what you’re feeling. There is no quick fix to grief and loss and heartbreak. Yet, I do believe that well-intentioned energy can transcend and do good, so I’m hoping the poem that I leave you below gives you some sort of comfort. I’m wishing you and your family the best as you all navigate these emotions and journey down the path of healing in your time and in your way. ❤
Epitaph
By
Merrit Mallory
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
Zach, I am thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. I am so sorry you had to go through this, especially on this trip. Hearing you talk about your grandpa was very touching. Another extremely well put together, thoughtful vlog. I’m sending you and your family so much love❤️
also, just a quick question. you said that you don’t eat meat. do you have a specific reason for doing so? animal cruelty, health, environmental, etc? were you raised that way? for some reason, in the past couple years i’ve been so interested in trying out certain ways of eating and living. i’ve experimented with no meat, and as much as i wish i could’ve given the lifestyle a better chance, it wasn’t sustainable for me in the specific circumstance I was in. i tried being a pescatarian for a year and i lasted about 100 days before giving in. i’m just quite curious what your experience has been like🙂
Sending you sooooo much love hunni ❤ You are such a brave young heart. I think the Peace park is a wonderful idea. We are all with you my love
This was so heart wrenching Zack, you talking about your grandparent so fondly made me cry….it reminded me exactly of my grandfather who passed away during covid, he was such a kind soul and he left school when he was 10 to help his father's shop, he was a tailor and he worked all his life every single day until he was lying in that hospital bed. It was truly shocking for everyone as he nearly never got sick. I remember him with my heart full from love. There's a saying here that, God takes away truly kind people early in life because he wants to adore them and get close to them as soon as possible and save them the suffering of old age. So I feel its for the best, and how truly lucky we are to have them in our life as inspirations.
sending love<3
zach saying he's kind of a f boy, too had my head explode in a good way :)) <3
i love this series so much because of the insight. it really solves the issue that kinda built up from only seeing him as a neat little reporter sassy shady swiftie in his window light with thee same framing. this really helps us know him better and appreciate him more
Thank you so much for sharing, Zach. In your descriptions of your granddad, I learned so much about him, but also about you. You share his kind, beautiful, fun spirit. It’s so devastating to lose a grandparent, so my heart is with you. Many blessings to you!
Can’t wait for the next part! Love!
Slayed
I'm so sorry for your loss and I think you're really strong for deciding to keep traveling anyway. It was really touching when you were talking about your grandpa, let's hope he's in a better place now. Sending lots of love.
It took me a while to get through this whole video, I'm sorry Zach. He sounded like an amazing person. It's incredible to see your spiritual journey in Japan.
your grandfather sounds like such a beautiful light and he's so lucky he has you to share his story and legacy. wish i could've had the honor of meeting him! sending you so much love, hope your family has enjoyed their holidays despite the circumstances. <3
your grandfather sounds like an absolute legend. a wonderful man. my apologies for your loss. i've enjoyed your tokyo vlogs very much.