It can be hard being single. Despite the challenges, more people than ever in Japan are opting to go it alone and finish out their lives without ever getting hitched.
However, according to one survey, the single life is uniquely hard on Japanese men. Why do unmarried men in Japan consider themselves unhappier than others in the world?
37.8% of single Japanese men are unhappy (but women aren’t)
The trend is unmistakable: more people in Japan are opting to remain single. Charts from Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare show that the number of people who reach their 50s without getting married has jumped dramatically. For example, in 1980, only 2.1% of men between the ages of 50 and 54 were unmarried. By 2020, that had jumped to 26.6%. Women saw a smaller but still significant shift, from 4.5% to 16.5%.
Picture: MHLW
There’s nothing wrong with being single (unless you’re a nationalist or a racist). The question is: are single people happy?
In a recent article, Newsweek Japan writer Maita Toshihiko pulled data from the World Values Survey, which surveyed people in multiple countries between 2017 and 2022. Maita uncovered some startling comparisons.
Maita compared unhappy men and women across Japan, South Korea, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Germany. In most cases, unmarried women were happier than unmarried men. (The US is the outlier here.) And, in general, married women were happier than unmarried women.
Picture: Maita Toshihiko / Newsweek Japan
However, in Japan, there are a couple of things to note. First, married women tend to be unhappier than unmarried women. By a small amount, to be sure, but a measurable difference. This likely reflects the unequal burdens placed on married women in Japanese households and the tendency of men to ditch their household responsibilities.
The other noticeable difference is how unhappy unmarried Japanese men are. A full 37.8% report themselves as unhappy – even unhappier than British men (that takes some doing). By contrast, married Japanese men’s unhappiness rate falls to below 10%.
Divorce makes men unhappier – but saves women’s lives
But why? One explanation, argues Maita, is that other variables are at play. Unmarried men also tend to have low-paying jobs and a lack of higher education, which can contribute to their general feeling of unhappiness.
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But a more compelling argument, says Maita, is that the structure of the Japanese marriage is to blame.
On the one hand, men in Japan feel wives should sacrifice themselves for a man’s benefit – and they miss that sacrifice. On the other hand, women are so overburdened in marriage that many are choosing to opt out. And they’re generally happier for it.
Maita points to the country’s suicide rates as further proof of this. Divorced Japanese men are more likely to commit suicide. By contrast, divorced Japanese women are less likely to do so. In other words, divorce saves women’s lives.
As a result of the burdens they face in marriage, Maita says, many Japanese women opt not to marry. “If we don’t fix this structure,” he argues, “there’s likely no hope in stopping the rise of unmarried people and the dwindling birth rate. There’s likely a limit to how much giving young people financial support can help.”
Sources
日本の未婚男性の「不幸感」は他国と比べて特異的に高く、女性では反対に既婚の方が高い. Newsweek
図表1-1-9 年齢階級別未婚割合の推移. Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare
AloJapan.com