“I’m American But I Feel Like I Belong In Asia”
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48 Comments
Grew up outside of STL in a small college town of 15K during the 70's and was graduated from HS in 81'. There were a total of about 5 Chinese families all of whom were faculty at the same university. There was only one African American family who was employed by the university but was not faculty. Most all the ABC's were at the top of their classes, subsequently going to medical school with the rest engineers. I never felt part of the community and got my share of racial epithets. After medschool in KC, I couldn't wait to flee and ended up at UCLA for residency and ultimately fellowship. Took my first job and landed in San Diego for the last 30 years. I can relate totally to the "Yellow Spot" in a see of "White." No regrets and no longer have any relatives in the Midwest. They all moved out to Southern California. Wonder Why???? 🤣😂🤣😂
Part 2 Spent a year in China while in medschool in 85' and have gone back about 15x's . Next trip is this October. To date have visited 17 of 23 provinces with 6 more to go. I have a love-hate relationship but throughout the years have become much more understanding and mature about the situation. Besides, one can see changes in real time.
AMERICA #1
I would like to set up 2 homes, one in US and one in Japan.
In about 20 years time when China GDP per capita is about developed country level, believe me, a lot of overseas Chinese would want to move to China, including those Chinese who were born and grew up in the west. Just look at what the Japanese did, there is a wave of going back to japan in recent 20 years, these are the Japanese people who immigrate after the Second World War but as soon as Japan became a developed place, Japanese tend to move back to their homeland
No welfare in Asia, everyone works. No drugs, no guns, no senseless death.
The people with the strongest claim to this land are the Native Americans because they've been here significantly longer than anyone else, and they have a spiritual connection to the land. I don't consider them a homogeneous group though. However, White people built this country. The only palpable White culture in this country is Southern, Antebellum culture. I have trouble defining Yankee culture. Black people wouldn't have gotten here without White slave ships. I don't consider Latinos as Native Americans because their genes are 50/50, and colorism is so bad in their culture. I have a connection with the West Coast because I grew up there, but it's not spiritual. The Philippines is the land of my ancestors. A lot of Fil-Ams have turned their backs on the motherland.
It’s not your land, as welcome as someone can be, you should always keep that sense of awareness. Why else would 400yrs of white settlers have disappeared and the land becomes a tribal casinos?
Asia was mostly 3rd world a generation or 2 ago.
In modern cities, an Asian would feel much more at home than in the west, especially if there isn't a language barrier.
You can say you don't feel so othered, but you can also say you feel belonged. It's good to feel belonged. Your parents or grand parents left Asia because it was harsh times. People leave the West now also due to harsh times. We are entering Asian Century. Life is short, feel good about yourselves.
I am a 1st Gen ABC / Gen X, and already discovered this early on, moved to Asia in late 90s, and never looked back. Still love traveling to KR/JP/Taiwan/SGP/HKG, and dont feel the need to be back in US.
OP's post is just one side of it, though. There's also stories of Asian Americans that travel back to the motherland and report feeling ostracized because the locals could instantly tell that they grew up as a Westerner. And gender definitely plays a big role here. Let's be honest: it's much easier for a woman to find some sense of belonging wherever she goes, but the same can't be said about men.
How the person feels culturally is also an important factor. Someone who grew up in the Midwest as an Asian may or may not feel connected to their community depending on their upbringing. If they had a negative experience, removing themselves from that environment might make them feel better compared to if they were completely assimilated and had a thriving social circle where they never felt othered. Race and culture are not always intertwined because one's immediate surroundings can greatly influence their worldview.
Yeah, a person's temperament doesn't change just by relocating, but it can provide an opportunity to start anew while leaving all their baggage from the past behind.
As an Asian, I too feel the same.
I moved to the Midwest happy to stay here. Screw Cali. Taiwan & Japan are great to visit. But the U.S. will always be my home. Looking forward to visit Korea, Singapore, and Thailand.
I associate Missouri with the south.
I make my own shaved ice and boba here at home in the Midwest. Safe, cheaper cost of living, and 2A.
It's also the change in gut bacteria diversity that is makes us depress in the west. Plus the sun and tropical weather there.
Off topic but – I love this channel.
I also felt that way after coming back from my trips to Asia
That's not the average Fil-Am experience at all.
I absolutely loved this topic of discussion. I sometimes wish that my mom had never moved me from South Korea to America when I was a kid. We went through so much discrimination and for what?!! I would’ve been perfectly happy growing up there. My mom used to be a confident and outspoken lady when she was in Korea. When I faced any sort of injustice at school she was there in my classroom the next day speaking to the teacher and standing up for me. I never once saw that side of her since we’ve moved to the states. If anything she always looked so powerless and afraid and it makes me sad to think about it even now.
OP is probably experiencing a couple things: 1) vacation withdrawals, and 2) dissatisfaction with her current environment having recently and immediately compared it to (what seemed like) a better existence. At least she was able to admit it to herself, which is the first step toward identifying a longer-term solution. If I were her, I'd hold onto those feelings for a while and see where they led me. If they continue, I might not take such drastic measures as moving to Malaysia, since there are still lots of benefits to living Stateside. Fung Bros are correct that she probably just needs to look at opportunities and demographics in another part of North America. (Note: I said North America, not necessarily the US — Vancouver and Toronto have a lot to offer.) She will find her way, but it has to start with self honesty and facing fear head on. Good luck to her and to everyone who is struggling with this.
Also if you want to change the fishbowl do it before you get married. I wished that I had moved to either California or back to South Korea when I was still in my twenties. Anyway, this is the only channel where I read other people’s comments and it is so awesome knowing what other Asian Americans are really thinking.
Almost every major usa city is a shithole, any asian city would feel a lot more comfortable 😂
Would rather live in a rural surrounded by 5 amish and 30 cows then ever live in nyc or San Francisco ever again
Wow, the original pre wwii chinese cantonese community that for 100 years WERE the chinese asian american community are now marginalised within the chinese asian American community to the point of being nonexistent. Most of those people are 3, 4, 5 generation american but because they look and are chinese are thought of as having just arrived . The original chinese cantonese american community is really being disappeared and their lived experience ignored and denied. Wow, double marginalisation. So sad.
unfortunately your personality is already fucked and the detox process of fitting back into asia is a long one
I implore anybody who hasn't spent at least a year in their native land to teach English or work in some capacity there. Otherwise, as an Asian American you will be lost in self identity. Living in Koreatown or other enclaves of America won't do. You have to live in their environment and also speak their language would be even better.
As an asian American in my motherland, i wanna go back to america 😅
People want to be with their own RACE. INCLUDING WHITES. MULTICULTURISM SUCKS.
Try working there for a couple of years, you’ll get over the Asia high real quick.
It’s better in Asia… trust
is hard to fit in in america unless ur well known
I see it quite similar to people from the country side visiting/living in the city for a short period and miss home. Or vice versa.
I left the US 15 years ago and never looked back. China is my home now. Even some white folks moved to China and never plan to return to the US. US is sooo backward now and not soooo Asian friendly place.
The trick is:
If you were born in Asia, the chance you can watch Youtube here is nearly 0%. You can hardly earn enough money to feed yourself.
You spend fucking USD in Asia, you definitely feel privileged.
Compare to the class or group you belong to, between USA and another Asia country.
Can you be 1% elite living in Chinese tier1 city with decent income? You need to study 12 hours a day 6 days a week for 16 years at least. And you need very good luck.
If you can average Asian American, your income is below $100,000. i.e. you are not top 10% Americans.
Compare yourself with 90% Asians living in Asian. You will be in poverty there.
I am not racist, but this is my theory.
As a Mexican with Native roots, each "race" feels at peace where nature intended them to be. I have AMERICAN blood/ DNA so whenever I travel within this continent, I feel at home, and I feel deep connection to the woods, beaches, mountains, and so forth. That is, this is our mother land, and this is our home, and my spirit feels like if my forefathers have hunted these lands for eons.
I'm going through something similar. I'm Chinese in Hungary (Europe), lived here for almost 30 years, have no accent whatsoever in both languages. Planning to go to China for a year, and see what happens.
As a first generation immigrant, living in the US for 25 years, I find that Asian Americans and the Asians in Asia have different mindset. My co-worker from Japan was just whispering to me one day (he knew I was from Singapore), asking "hey do you realize that a lot of US infrastructure seems to be stuck in the 1980s"? We both nodded our heads and smiled. Most Americans have never even left their own country, much less been to Asia. If you compare Singapore's International airport with any airport in the US, it would be obvious why we say that the US infrastructure is still stuck in the 80s!
If anyone is interested in modern day Asia, you can follow CNA and "CNA Insider" channels on Youtube which are Singapore productions. Asia has progressed and changed so much in such a short span of time that I now feel like a foreigner whenever I go home.
The US is a cesspool now all because of the blackandbrowns!!!
even indians feel the same
I miss had the opposite effect on me. This other feeling is a double edged sword. Go there, you’re no one special. Most American Asians fully embrace the diverse culture of America. It’s a part of who we are and it’s an amazing feeling being Asian even though we have our issues in the states
Lived in a few places in the US, ended up in Japan. The mere thought of ever having to live back in the US fills me with gloom. Moving was the best choice I ever made.
There is currently a surplus of Chinese Filipino women in the Philippines looking for eligible Chinese or Chinese-Filipino men of marrying age, which may make it an attractive destination for Chinese -American passport bros.
Be proud to be American but also be proud of your heritage/ancestry. Do positive things and be true to your values. When I was growing up in England I was made to feel inferior and I hated my heritage. I didn’t understand then. I am proud of being English yet I am also extremely proud of my Chinese heritage. Some haters in the west will try to put you down and make make you inferior; but you are not. Chinese people will never think themselves superior. They just want to be treated fairly. The mainland Chinese has shown you they are not inferior. So any Asians who live in the west; continue to be positive and never feel inferior.
bro i feeel depressed everytime i come back from vacation… its vacation lol
I love M'sia, their old Chinatown in KL reminded me of the British Hong Kong when I left her for Nu Yawk City in 68.
So glad I stumbled across you guys! As an Asian American that didn't grow up with much of my Asian family to influence (mostly raised by the Caucasian half), I've always felt a deep connection to Asian culture and as I'm getting older, I want to connect more with my Asian side. So although I've never visited the Asian countries I have an interest in, I can partially relate to the "I feel like I belong in Asia" bit.
I felt the same way. I am quite old, and 30 years ago, the USA was the best place for immigration. It was the wealthiest country with good social infrastructure and plenty of goods to buy. However, I now have my doubts. While it still remains one of the richest countries, the infrastructure has deteriorated, and safety is a concern with many junkies and homeless people around. Even though I can earn more money in the USA, the cost of living, including housing prices, is exorbitantly high, yet the quality is not proportionate.
In Korea, even if I earn half the money, I can enjoy a much better quality of life in a safe environment, with fast and cheap delivery systems that bring everything from food to other goods to my door within 30 minutes. Everything is cleaner and more organized than in the USA. I no longer see any reason to live in the USA, so I moved back a few years ago and have never regretted my decision.
One downside of living in East Asia is the intense competition in every aspect of life, especially for getting a job and working here is more like grinding myself, but aside from that, I enjoy being back.