9-11 Kevin’s Video with raw audio (includes swearing)

Copyright 2001 & 2023
I posted this video in the 2000’s but accidently left it private for until now. I gave a Sunday Service on a scout trip to Shiloh battlefield about one of my religious journeys and showed this video (stop before swearing). I noticed the video was private and made it public. Here’s the message notes for the sermon I wrote. I am an engineer not a pastor, so don’t expect the message to be awesome.
As a combat veteran, when they spoke of going to Shiloh, the last place I wanted to visit was a battlefield. However, I could tell that it meant a lot to the adults planning the trip. As we were packing up to leave the house, it was a struggle. For you this is a visit with history. For me this is a return to Hell.
As I prayed about what to share, I decided I would share this struggle from my own personal devotion. Sermon notes below:
Read 1 Chronicles 22:7 – 10
When I became a Christian in the early 90’s I read through bible
I focused on Military verses as a young officer
What does this mean? God asked David to fight these wars, why was he punishing him?
My journey to find the meaning of this passage is painful, but I would like to share it with you.
I had a tough flight test job. It was dangerous, with test crew often lost
Vacation to relax. Go to NYC. See the shows.
In an instant I saw 2,763 die. 25,000 injured
Comparison. Shiloh 3,500 dead, 16,500 injured over two days
As I was caught in the dust cloud of the collapse, I remember seeing a picture of a child about your age. From a desk of their mom or dad and wondering if I now orphaned
This was what I thought would be the worst time of my life. Little did I know this was the first day of what would become about about a year in various combat zones around the world
A few years later on valentines day, I told Kristen I was selected to be an aircraft commander and fly combat missions in Iraq. I was leaving for training in two weeks and then flying out on her birthday in May.
When I flew the rotater into Iraq, the guy that sat next to me died in a mortar attack the next day. That was my welcome to Iraq.
I then worked about three months straight from 6pm to 6am, planning and flying combat missions. Here are some samples of my days.
Walking the mile to work over 135 degree tarmac one day one of my squadron mates was waving for me. I couldn’t hear the shell warning siren over the F-16’s taxing. I saw him hit the deck and did too.
Some days my sleep was interrupted by incoming mortar fire, with one time gravel spraying against my tent woke me up.
As one of the officers, I would often draw funerary detail. As they wheeled the coffins into or out of the aircraft, I would wonder did they have a wife? Kids? Have their parents been notified yet?
Day after day was all the same, except on Sunday, I would go to chapel before reporting for duty. It would be a respite from the Hell outside the chapel tent. Worshiping God. We are fortunate to have a couple philosophers in our unit. One of them asked during scouting Sunday why I was smiling. I told him that it is because I can leave my worries outside. He told me you leave it hung up on a tree and then pick it back up when you leave and some of them have blown away. It reminded me of that chapel tent in Iraq where the love of Christ brings joy to my heart.
Even after experiencing combat, I still did not understand 1 Cor. Several years later I was reading the last Harry Potter novel and God used this following passage to make the lightbulb go off.
Extract from passage:
Snape raised his eyebrows and his tone was sardonic as he asked, “Are you intending to let him kill you?” “Certainly not. You must kill me.” There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise. Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttlebone. “Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?” “Oh, not quite yet,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “I daresay the moment will present itself in due course. Given what has happened tonight,” he indicated his withered hand, “we can be sure that it will happen within a year.” “If you don’t mind dying,” said Snape roughly, “why not let Draco do it?” “That boy’s soul is not yet so damaged,” said Dumbledore. “I would not have it ripped apart on my account.” “And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?”
And at last, I knew the truth of David in 1 Chr 22…. A wave of pain, sadness and great loss crashed over me. God. God. What about my soul? I asked.
In war a piece of our soul is lost on the battlefield and it can never be replaced in this life. That is why David could not build the temple. But David’s hope was that in the next life God restores our soul. We know that in Christ our body and soul will rise again perfected.
Let us Pray. God we pray for those some 3000 that died on these fields as their life blood flowed out. Also we pray for those 100,000 who spilled that life blood and left a piece of their soul on this battlefield. Amen

[Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] exactly [Applause] [Applause] lord oh my lord oh my god [Applause] he’s here [Applause] lord [Applause] lord [Applause] the United airplane that just crashed right into it wasn’t that was it that was a dead island he he did it on purpose poor guy poor guy my lord that’s just they did that on purpose did you see that he just went right into it he flew right into it on purpose what is Pat it up I’m gonna go to any public buildings today yeah I’m gonna render the Statue of Liberty next or what or God Almighty that was the second plane that did that you see it just exploded it just disappeared I wonder how many people died this is awful this I’m shaking I’m like Lord God this is right this is not right that’s the second from the airport that one’s going away that’s not right he just flew right into it what the hell is wrong with people I don’t know I don’t know this is really bad I haven’t been back to New York I’m retired so coming back in 23 years and we just came back we’re going out to a class reunion out on Long Island we just came back spend a couple of days in the city look around this is a good idea see that I mean it’s it was at 7:37 the guy just took a 737 and he flew it right into the building screw it up the other one used to let another one ice why so I go overhead it was another it was another yeah and then we heard the pop we didn’t think anything of it this is the same place yeah we didn’t think anything of it cuz my lord [Applause] you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music]