I got laid off so now I’m vlogging | Going freelance, designing a proposal & making pizza 🍕

EP 08
[I got laid off so now I’m vlogging | Going freelance, designing a proposal & making pizza 🍕 ]

It feels fitting that I’m restarting my vlogging journey on episode eight because it’s one of my favorite numbers. It’s the day my younger brother was born, it’s Kobe’s original number, it’s the infinity sign sideways, and just brings good vibes. Ya know?

But y’all!! I’m finally doing it! 𝑰’𝒎 𝒗𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈… 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! lol 😅 Except I swear I’m much more excited & intentional this time. Maybe it’s because I have a stronger creative itch or that I have a lot more time now that I no longer have a traditional job. Maybe it’s a mix of both. Either way, I’m here, it’s going to be messy, and I’m okay with it because each episode will be another form of practice.

This first one is particularly sloppy because I don’t exactly have a vlogging camera and my 9 year old macbook can no longer handle editing so I recorded and edited everything on my semi-old iPhone. So for those of you listening with headphones, I’m so sorry that the audio is imbalanced. I had no idea how to fix it.

The good news is that I’m now typing this on my 𝒏𝒆𝒘 macbook (it arrived right as I was finishing this edit) so the next episode on my Mammoth trip will be much easier to piece together. And I promised myself that after I upload 5 episodes, I’d reward myself with a camera specifically for vlogging.

Until then, I hope you find comfort in the imperfection.

Thank you for watching & please consider subscribing if you’re down to continue watching this new freelance journey of mine.

Carm ✨

Hello I’m doing it I’m recording a vlog I’ve had a few friends shout out to these friends ask me why I don’t upload Vlogs on YouTube considering how much I post on my story and I literally talk a lot I don’t know it’s always been a thought it’s just kind of daunting I

Don’t I don’t know I don’t know like there’s not that much of a difference but at the same time it’s completely different first of all the aspect ratio is different so that alone is like a different change of mindset I feel like I have to record intentionally if I were

To do it on YouTube versus like iPhone is just so natural I just pick up my phone and I start recording all the time so that’s one aspect but two it’s also editing it all together I’m really big on storytelling and whenever I curate my stories there is actually some thought

And logic behind behind all of it and it’s not like it’s this forced thing it’s just the way that my mind thinks but that has come through many years of practice so I thought you know what I might as well just try this out see how it goes and then maybe through practice

I can see if I have my own little system so here I am just literally wearing whatever I don’t even have any makeup on and today I am working on a proposal for a client I have if you don’t know I just started my freelance journey I got laid off late

Last year and took a nice well needed break and it has been wonderful and I thought I would jump into another company but after literally even just one week of rest I realized that I didn’t want to just work in house for just one company I wanted to freelance

And just put effort towards myself for once and do little creative things like this this Vlog and see what could come out of it if anything or maybe it would just be nice to exercise that type of muscle I feel like whenever I work in a company I

Put in a lot of time and effort and energy towards them and why not put that energy towards myself for a change so that’s why I started freelancing and it has been quite a journey it’s not exactly finding clients I feel really fortunate that I have been referred or

These referrals are coming to me and then asking me if I can fit into this project and now I’m in this state where I’m trying to I don’t know put a proposal together you know and figure out how much is it going to cost what are the services I’m providing I don’t

Know it’s it’s a lot so today I’m working on a deck I have made quite a good amount of decks in the past month and a half it has been very fun because I like designing decks um it is also very challenging I’ve been using chat

Gbt a lot just asking advice saying like hey what are some slides I can include in a proposal okay how would you transition this to this and just kind of using that as an assistant to get my mind turning and then give me ideas one of my favorite questions that I asked it

Was hey I have these five bullet points but I want to add icons what are some icon ideas and that just like saves me a lot of time so that’s what I’m working on I’m going to put my phone down you know just record some b-roll and it’s almost 4

O’ I’m hoping I can at least get my full rough draft done in the next hour or two so ambitious but I told myself I would finish this deck today we’re going to do it we are going to do it here’s my my desk I also decided that

I’m going to use the front camera of my iPhone even though the quality isn’t as great um because I want to be able to see if I’m in frame or not like my last clip it was just like so close I I don’t know this is not going to be perfect I’m

Not reaching for Perfection here I’m just [ __ ] doing the thing and now we’re going to actually do the thing too and make this damn deck because we can do hard things we can do it just got a notification to do my du oh he’s calling me out he says Doo

Thinks you’re better than number four well Duo not right now thank you but no I was also really hungry so I started I brought a snack just rice crackers it’s nothing great really I was listening to that um the hoerman lab with Dave and gogins and they were talking about how every time

You do something you don’t want to do you strengthen in a different part of your brain and I feel like that part of my brain needs to be strengthened so I’m eating rice crackers even though I don’t want you just because I need a snack but I don’t want to eat Sugar My watch told me to get up and stand so I’m standing it is been an hour it’s 453 um I have made some progress on this deck but I’m not loving it feel like that’s the Perfection part of me I kind of wish I had a whole week

To work on this but I don’t have a week I need to finish it today um it’s also my fault that I kind of overbooked myself I’m leaving for Mammoth tomorrow so I need to pack my stuff tonight and leave in the morning because I want to drive during the daytime

Especially since it’s snowing and God I’m really realizing now as I’m working on this proposal how much I need to do this week like how much logistical planning I need to do so stressed I’m stressed this is kind of like the thing about starting something new you kind of

Figure it out as you go I’m trying to be okay with that I’m trying to have some patience with myself it’s okay we’re going to do This All right it is 710 and um I’m about 90% done look at this Leaf it’s perfect it kind of hides my my deck you don’t see it God this is hard this was hard I it took me like quite some time to just try to figure out like what do I

Want as my rate is it fair but I also want it to be a rate that I feel comfortable with because um what I’m going to be working on is going to be quite a bit of work and it’s going to take a lot of time and brain power and I

Live in LA I have bills to pay so I just want to make sure that I I set a rate that feels fair for everybody and then I also wanted I don’t know if this is common but I wanted to do a discounted rate for this first project because

We’re still sorting out the Kinks for the both of us and I feel like it’s only fair it’s like I have all of these services to offer but I’m not offering all of them in the beginning my je it’s I I was asking chat

Gbt is like is that a good thing to do and they’re like it really depends on you so I decided to go with it I I feel good about that I’m now just stressed because now I need to pack for Mammoth amelo just said he texted our

Little house group chat and said he’s going to start cooking dinner I made dinner yesterday he’s making dinner today he’s making pizza I’m very excited he made a sourdough bread dough so it’s going to be very good it is going to be a vegan pizza because y and Amelia are

Vegan this month so I mean I’m all for it all I just want is bread honestly bread olive oil that’s all I need I’m an easy gal going to go down ask how long that’s going to take and then I’m going to start packing got three hours like 10 o’ is

When I try to unplug from my phone and from games I’m not playing games right now because I have have a lot to do so my goal is to finish dinner and packing before 10: and then finalize this proposal and then schedule it out in the

Morning so that I can drive to Mammoth In Peace So we got a lot going on but again we can do hard things I’m just I’m doing my [ __ ] best here pizza pizza pizza oh I love it already you in case oh oh my God gentle gentle mov I need some

Tweezers we need to just make a tomato garden at least yeah I used to have a i that would be too hard it’s not it’s not I was able to take care of it when I was a kid oh [ __ ] Fu I forgot we were doing that my word my word cheese

Wow actually scissors actually [ __ ] work I was questionable I’m not going to lie I was a doubter I was a doubter forgive me you’re like scissors scissors I like cut tomato in the middle so that we could each have each oh cool oh dang I didn’t think about

That all right this is a first take of from vegan cheeses dude the color kind is reminding me of uh it’s giving Lunchables it is giving lunchable right yeah like if you notice like the oven doesn’t really cook through yeah the dough you have to leave

It in a long time but then the crust gets all weird I hate that oh versus the the thingy mhm you know want good this cheese a bad all right wow like I I’ll PR sure make it feel like Lex’s brother oh it’s probably better for me since this works it’s not

Dairy oh lot mhm oh wait yeah you’re right the cheese isn’t bad I would wouldn’t have really thought about it being vegan mhm it’s not like cheesy not cheesy but I’m not like disappointed you know mhm texture is there texture is there t there oh are you

Boll I had I got a message the other day it was about why it should be on YouTube I had another friend I haven’t talked to in a long time but it’s because these people also watch YouTube a lot yeah they say they put it on as be like

Background and I don’t do that so I mean I guess I do you kind of do I do same guy mix you’re right I do oh you want me to open this oh yeah you guys want these tomatoes are beautiful anyone want a glass or love a splash a splash a

Spash Splash you want to Splash y sure Big Splash please Big Splash yeah sir you know you is that what they all do um no I do cuz it’s just like the the crust comes out a little weird when it’s in the oven I don’t really like it that

Much but uh you make it look nicer when you do it this way mhm very nice SP bro know I’m cheers charge color D I’m sad your laptop doesn’t work out I wish we reset it this was going to help you get it to slide off perfect perfect nice and like you

Could like stretch it out too okay and then now you put your sauce on which is technically enough be generous yeah okay Yeah he you’re making like latte art over there oh we have salt just crack a little little one time two times a little bit I need too I’m not vegan B it already right so that means it’s not going to stick yeah there you go yeah the middle and then you just start

Sliding there you go yeah you did it there it is my first pizza this is the show we’ve been into lately what the hell is she doing here this guy English is it’s Chinese how is she doing pizza oh she looks beautiful I love how white it is I’m going for

Infection 30 second Chef oh there’s there’s dots on those leaves this little leaf it’s going to go in the middle brush it brush it oh brush it keep saying it nice Wow Wow Let’s see it take a photo I’m sorry oh [ __ ] oh I like a no sauce Pizza mhm you

Have oh I have it yeah we I have the power oops oh [ __ ] what are you going to do all the police are going to come in oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God get the [ __ ] out of There a bomb oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] who that that was a dad that wasn’t a Dad